Put My Thoughts to Sleep
by sakimidare
Summary: The German brothers were complete opposites. And so were their circumstances.  "Don't you remember? When West kept on putting his thoughts to sleep,this was what happened!" But in Prussia's case, it might be his only ray of hope.
1. The Leash

**A/N: I know. This has been done a thousand times before. So one more time doesn't matter, right? ^^' Besides, it's right now 5.30 in themorning and I shall be killed if Mom cathces me here and this has just been in the back of my mind for like forever(since 30th Sept, actually, but whatever) Not that that has anything to do with anything. Completely unrelated, I assure you. Except maybe it serves as a warning to just how ..ahem! Anyway, this is my take on the Russia-Prussia relationship while Prussia was GDR. **

_**How extremely original.**_

**That was just Kumajirou. Excuse his manners. Canada spoils him (*goes into Belarus-style chant: killyoukillyoukillyoukillyou)**

**No, not you. Kuma, I mean.**

**Put My Thoughts to Sleep**

**Summary: The German brothers were complete opposites. And so were their circumstances.**

"**Don't you remember? When West kept on putting his thoughts to sleep, this was what happened!"**

**But in Prussia's case, it might be the only ray of hope.**

**Characters: Prussia/Gilbert, Russia/Ivan, Germany/Ludwig(also referred to as West). Cameo : Lithuania/Toris, Estonia/Edouard, Latvia/Raivis**

**Pairing(s): None in this chapter. RoPru and a smattering of PruCan later on.**

"_**I've grown accustomed to the pain**_

_**Learnt to welcome it, even**_

_**If it sends my thoughts into the darkness**_

_**I shall thank you for the pain."**_

_They were all his children. How could one be better than another? But...After all, Bosses were always right and one could never argue with them. And what his Boss said made sense. _

_Well, _some_ of it did, anyway._

What_ the Hell was he thinking? Genocide did _not_ make sense. It never did._

_But even if he did not agree with it, he had to follow him. Because he was his Boss and a substantial amount of his people, drunk on glory and blind to the darker side, backed him up. Their will bound the two of them together._

_But Ludwig knew that it wasn't that monster that made him feel so helpless and scared._

_Somewhere inside, he was just afraid that maybe, he too, was turning into one, thinking like one._

_And _that_, was the sole cause of his fear._

**Chap I: The Leash**

"_Scheisse!" Gilbert hissed, his SS Luftwaffe uniform splotched with blood in places._

"_Bruder, Russia will break into your house any time." Ludwig, said, concern etched on every line of his face._

_Eh...he's worried for me? That's so.._cute_!_

"_Eh, you're worried for me? That's so _unawesome_, West! I won't give up without a fight! So watch your own back!"_

_Prussia wasn't going to let his baby _bruder_ know that he was scared. Scared for what would happen to Ludwig once they found out everything. Ludwig had come to know – and told him – about the Holocaust one week ago, but now there was no backing out anymore, and the Germans were clinging on to the thin hope of Hitler performing another of his so-called 'miracles', so West's bond to his Boss was thicker than ever._

"_Stay here! My Boss..."_

"Fuck_ your Boss!" Gilbert's thin hold on his patience snapped. Which is not all that surprising considering that he was getting beaten up by Russia and worried sick for his bruder who would be_ _getting it from the rest of the Allies and who had to follow an insane Boss._

_Wessi_ sure knows how to pick them out.

_Even in the face of defeat, Prussia couldn't help being sarcastic._

"_He's the cause behind all of this."_

_Ludwig turned away, his hair – messed-up for once – shielding his face, but Gilbert could hear the slight, almost inaudible tremble in his voice when he spoke._

"_I _have_ to follow his orders."_

_The hell? West never cried. That was one of his characteristics, like Gilbert's was always being awesome._

_No, scratch that. _

_Always being _super_-awesome-more-than-anyone._

_He clenched his fist. "Stop putting your thoughts to sleep, Luddy. This is where it has gotten us."_

Prussia's reverie was broken by the sound of a joint "LATVIAAAAAAAAAA" from Toris and Edouard.

His own words had come back to mock him.

Did he, too, not wish for the pain now?

No, he wasb;t a masochist. That was more up West's alley. Not. His. Awesome. Turn-on.

But when the pain began, the thoughts would stop. And he would be too weak to dream anything for the night.

Mein Gott. If the pain could keep these..unwanted thoughts at bay, it could go on forever and Prussia wouldn't mind.

"Da, Kaliningrad. Sometimes it is almost as if you enjoy the pain – you crave for the punishment.:

With a flick of his wrist, Prussia was made to face him.

"Sadist, you call it?" Face scrunched up to find the right word/."Da?"

"Don't call me Kaliningrad." Prussia spat. "And as for sadism..." a flicker, a smile that was gone before being fully visible. "we're both on the same boat, ja?" Mocking his habit of adding a "da" at the end of every sentence.

A beat. A flinch as Russia raised the whip in his hand.

More pain, less thoughts.

The whip was thrown on the floor at his feet.

When he recovered enough from his surprise to look at Russia, he was already gone.

"Hurry up and finish the dishes, Gilbert."

"Toris...I-I-I s-spilled something on M-Mr. R-R-Russia's coat,:

"!"

Daily sounds of the houseold.

Gilbert wasn't afraid of that. During the day, he could dream..even if he knew they wouldn't come true.

After all, he was awesome and would rise again one da.

The flag of the Black Eagle would march forward again.

He began humming: _"... My territory sleeping on the world map.."(1)_

No, Gilbert Weillschimdt(2) was not afraid of anything – not even Russia.

His screams began at midnight, on the stroke of twelve.

**A/N: (1) – aA line from a fan-made version of MKC Prussia. That made me cry.**

**Yuss, I used the alternative spelling. So kill me.**

**And '..Genocide.**

**Of any kind. So if you happen to support that, I'm sorry, but my views on Hitler would be sure to offend you, but for this one, I .Apologise. He is one of the very rare people who make me want to punch him. Hard.**

**The only other persons are our Chem and Home Ec teachers.**

**Ah, and my favourite part! Translations: (all German)**

**_Scheisse_: Shit**

**_Mein_ _Gott_: My God.**

**_Bruder_: Brother**

**_Wessi_: West**

**Also, please try to review. Of course, sometimes its just not possible, but if you can, drop a line in about if I should continue with this or not. 'Cos updates would be short and once/twice a month. And don't bother putting in a word about the chapter length. I break things up into shorter chapters 'cos I kinda hate having to go through a wall of text.**

**Lol I'm such a hypocrite!**

**Anyway, short chapter = more chapters uploaded at a time.**

**So, either way, you're not the loser.**

**So please, Review? **

**(Or I shall sic Belarus in her "Kekon" mode on you*evil laughter*)**

**Sorry 'bout that..my Russia personality just took over. Except maybe even he would be too merciful to do that...**


	2. Midnight Dreams

**A/N: Well, this is shorter than even my usual(I _think_) but I felt that it deserved. .Chapter.**

**Chap 2: Midnight Dreams**

It was always different, but somehow the same.

West, Germania, Feli, Aristoxcrat, Hungary – they were all passing right by him without sparing him a second glance. Or a first one fopr that matter.

_That is because they don't see you._ _You are not their kind anymore.(1)_

And all the while, this irritating incessant voice whispered out truths he didn't want to hear – would. – at him.

Or sometimes they passed right through him.

_You are not anyone anymor._

**That voice!**

Russia was whipping the four of them. Only Prussia didn't feel any pain.

_Because you have lost the right to feel, just like you have lost the right to be free and a Nation again._

**That voice...**

A crowd of people, with happy smiling faces. And one among them with a yellow chick circling his head..

...with no face. Or a molten, distorted face.

_You were dissolved. You have no right to be happy. _

_**.Voice.**_

_You are wihtout an identity. _

_You have lost the right to exist._

_An anomaly in the natural order._

The truth that Prussia wanted to block. The same words repeated over and over again.

Different scenarioes..but the same words and voice.

It was always so completely different, yet so fuckin' similar.

**A/N: (1) This is about the dissolution of Prussia. .**

**You think the dreams are stupid? Try being reduced to a pathetic little state formed for the Cold War purposes from a Mighty effin' Empire.**

**On 2nd thoughts, don't. That would need another Cold War and WW2 and .True. Which is kinda funny, but scary too. Because its so funny, if you know what I mean.**

**Also, the whipping dream. Don'...**

**In my mind, he's just a completely and hopelessly lost child. And he's very very innocent. He won't do anything like that.**

**He dressed Toris up 'cos he wanted to play, not as a punishment or kink.**

**Well, at least in my mind. Which is delusional at best.**

**(A demented Russia-fangirl)**

**Eh..also... I read a fabulous fic that theorises on Toris' scars..I don't remember the name, but the concept was brilliant! I love that guy/girl! If you're one of the people who(like me) believe Russia is just mislead and misunderstood, go read it!**


	3. Awakening

**A/N: So, just wanted to say, thanks for the reviews and alerts and all, and I'm aware that I am new to this, so if you have some advice, please take a minute to tell me. Thanks!**

**Awakening**

The whole house – no, mansion was a more fitting word – was quiet.

And not a comfortable quiet, either. To Gilbert, it seemed as if the house was dead. He hated the silence, though, in all fairness, a house should be quiet at 2 in the morning.

But Gilbert's state of mind prevented him from registering that simple fact. All he knew was the house was quiet.

Sickeningly so.

Very sickeningly so.

And he was scared.

He couldn't go back to sleep because the dreams would come and chase him back out of it.

But when he stayed awake, the unreal silence felt too similar to the nightmares he used to have as a child.

Being alone in a world without colours and sound.

Gilbert couldn't really decide which type of nightmare was worse. The being-alone ones or ex-nation ones. At the end, he supposed they were both even..

_Stop thinking about that_. Gilbert hissed to himself.

Gilbert started thinking about what he would do once he got away from Russia to occupy himself.

Not that he was totally evil.

Sometimes he could almost believe Russia wasn't the monster he was claimed to be. He knew the beatings were for Punishment, not fun - contrary to Popular Opinion. Ivan told them how much it hurt him every time he had to do it. Ever since he had arrived here, he had had only three beatings.

Not exactly a reason for celebration, but this was Russia, our friendly neighbourhood Psychopath, so that had to count for something, didn't it?

Oh fuck he didn't really need a fucking guilt complex to top it all off..

..not that it mattered. He had a full-out Guilt Complex now, but he - being the awesome Empire that he was - pushed those thoughts to the periphery and focused on talking loudly to himself about his Future Plans.

* * *

Ivan stood outside Gilbert's door, listening to the silver-haired man ramble to himself about what he was going to do once he was free from Russia.

_Why does he want to leave_? he thought, coming to the conclusion that little Gilbert just didn't understand what was good for himself. After all, he was known to be headstrong, wasn't he?

But knowing him, he'll probably try to leave very soon..Russia couldn't allow that.

That small voice in the corner of his mind spoke up : _Make him love you_.

Satisfied with his solution, Ivan made his silent way back to his room

**A/N: grrr..at last..the frustrating Gorundwork behind me..I can now concentrate on Plot..er...wait, what plot? /shot/**

**Reviews fuel a writer^J^**


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